Categorized | Mike's Column

A localized Christmas tale

My apologies to

Clement C. Moore:


’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Niagara West,

not a creature was stirring, not even our mayors.

The stockings were hung, by the laptops with care,

in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while their parents were left scratching their heads.

Mama in her kerchief and in I my PJs,

were talking aloud about WLMH delays.


When out on the roof was the sound of something new,

we stopped slaggin’ the Liberals, who haven’t a clue.

Away to the window I flew while I said,

“Wynne, build our hospital, please use your head!”


The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

gave a lustre of midday to wind turbines below.

What appeared to my wondering eyes was not stellar,

but a miniature sleigh clipped by a wind turbine propeller.


With a little old driver, so lively and neat,

he was able to crash land right on main street,

they were lucky they landed or Christmas was through.

more rapid than eagles, his coursers they flew,


Now Dasher! Now Dancer!

Now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid!

On, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch!

To the top of the wall!

He yelled, “We”re definitely more lucky than most.”

“I wish this region was an unwilling host”


As dry leaves that before wild hurricanes flew,

to the rooftop they jumped to get a better view, from the
house-top Grimsby’s waterfront development was seen,

maybe the bag full of toys has some project dreams?


And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,

the hustle and bustle of goodwill proof,

while food bank “elves” gathered hamper  packs to hand around,

down the chimney came an elf with a bound.


His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples, how divine!

His cheeks were like roses, after sipping Niagara wine,

his droll little mouth, there is nothing like it,

he grinned, “you mean I can get wine at a farmers’ market?”


For a copy of NewsNow he reached,

all local, great copy and easy-to-read, he preached.

I travel the world, lots of places to hop,

but NewsNow always makes this my favourite stop.


He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old sod,

and I laughed at what he said when he gave me a nod.

“And what of this nonsense, Niagara a uni-city?

“Don’t do it,” he said. “That would be …(bad)”


Then he spoke not a word, but got on with his night,

he has a Leafs game to watch and win they just might.

And nibbling an apple left right to the core,

was signal to his elves to pull the sleigh up to the door.


He sprang to his ride, and gave them a shout,

it was time to go, of that, there’s no doubt,

but I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,

“keep your chambers of commerce, don’t amalgamate, and good night!”

* * * * * *

But seriously folks, Merry Christmas!

This has been a crazy year for myself and my staff. We didn’t think we would be weekly even at this point, and then we didn’t know if we would be received well enough to survive a year once we made the jump to light speed in
December 2012.

Whether it is helping the WLMH Foundation with programs like Trees of Healthy Wishes, the firefighters in Grimsby or Lions Clubs in Lincoln, all of which has record events when they worked with us for the first time, we are just pleased as punch to be part of the West Niagara community and look forward to serving readers, advertisers and community groups for decades to come.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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